What's it really like to be an Expat Wife

Something's been bugging me terribly over the past two days... a podcast that has been doing the rounds amongst my Expat friends. Now, I usually don't get worked up about small details but somehow this Conde Nast Traveler's podcast struck a nerve... and not a good one!

Entitled "Women Who Travel Podcast: What It's Really Like to Move Abroad" the podcast's guest chat about the many highs (and lows) that come with living an ocean away from home, what it really takes to move abroad in the first place (and in some cases what made us decide to stay), and explore why the word "expat" itself is a problematic term.

It made me realize just how big the Expat generational gap is between the women who spearheaded through unknown territory before the internet access and those who sailed on the net into (nearly) any country on the globe with most information at the tip of their fingers before even setting foot in it.

We had to figure it ALL out without Google, Facebook groups or WhatsApp chats when we started off. These ladies don't even want to call themselves Expats because it seems an unfair word?!?

Women who travel are not automatically Expat women. A language exchange does not make you an Expat. Teaching English abroad for a few months does not make you an Expat. Following a boyfriend to another country does not necessarily make you an Expat wife. Yes, an Expat wife is a term I am proud to call myself surrounded by many awesome Expat women and connecting with local and global Expat networks.

Border crossing to keep your visa is NOT to be considered... such a bad idea on so many different levels.

So ladies, please stop generalizing and do your research: An expatriate is a person temporarily or permanently residing in a country other than their native country. The term often refers to professionals, skilled workers, or artists taking positions outside their home country, either independently or sent abroad by their employers (companies, universities, governments, or non-governmental organisations).

Immigration is the international movement of people into a destination country of which they are not natives or where they do not possess citizenship in order to settle or reside there.

Yes, we miss our National food and feel homesick, however, we come to terms that we have chosen the Expat lifestyle (through work or love). We have kids who might feel home is a different place to ours and that sometimes hurts. The ultimate Expat experience is actually giving birth in a foreign country.

Towards the end of the podcast the ladies touch on the big secret of being an Expat without even realizing it: it's a little thing called sharing.

Sharing is the best quality of an Expat. This does not mean connecting because you share the same language or similar personal experiences because you come from the same place. Expats share for the sake of helping others!!! They share their knowledge, offer advice, and happily give out their secret tips.

According to current estimates, there are over 8 Million company transferred Expats worldwide. Still only 1 out of 4 is female. The majority of women living abroad are Expat partners who joined their husband on this adventure abroad. The Expat network empowers and supports the millions of Expat Women worldwide who have been brave enough to quit their job and joint their partner on his adventure abroad.

Here's to all my fellow Expat wives and partners, may we keep on supporting each other in a community that I am proud to be a member of!